The holidays came and went. Perhaps you spent significant family-time together with Mom and Dad — on their turf. Did what you see and hear disturb you in any way? Are you aware of any problems they may be having that require your immediate attention?
Take a deep breath. If what you witnessed finally convinced you that they can no longer live on their own, the time is now to initiate conversations about their housing and care options. Here are your choices:
- Bring outside help into their home.
- Move into a life-plan (continuing care) community.
- Ask them to live with you.
But wait! Is them living with you what’s best for you in the long run? Here are a few questions to ask compiled from The Complete Eldercare Planner:
Ask your parents:
Do you want to move in and share a household with my family?
Are there relationship conflicts that need to be resolved before you move in?
Are you comfortable switching doctors?
Ask the rest of the people who live in the same house with you:
Would anyone resent this living arrangement?
What adjustments would you have to make to your lifestyle?
Will you pitch in and help?
Discuss with non-resident siblings:
Will you help me care for Mom and Dad in the event they get sick and need extra care?
Ask these money questions:
Are Mom and Dad able to contribute financially (Food? Rent?)?
If the house needs remodeling to accommodate their needs, who pays?
If I quit my job, who will pay me to care for them?
Ask yourself:
Do I have the physical space in my home to take this on?
Will other people who live in the house get the attention they need?
Is my family financially and emotionally stable enough to take this on?
The arrangement of sharing one’s home with aging parents is not for the faint of heart. If you succeed, you are beating the odds!
Check out my book, The Complete Eldercare Planner for many more questions and housing options before asking them to move in.